If You Were Gay
by Pit-Trap
Summary: Poor Austria just wanted to relax and enjoy an afternoon alone and he almost did. Almost. Because then Prussia came over and decided to tell him some interesting things...


Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, APH, Avenue Q, song, etc.

Note: If it's in _Italics_, someone is singing.

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It was a calm and peaceful day. The sun was peaking through the puffy, white clouds. The trees danced and swayed in the light breeze that blew, intertwining through the leaves, grass, and colorful flowers on the ground. Inside of a rather large house (a mansion was more like it), it was just as peaceful and Austria was there to enjoy every minute of it. He walked through the halls of his home, with a book in hand and a small smile on his face, enjoying the silence. No one else was here, no one was here to visit, no one was here to talk to him about work, and he was left alone with a day that he could do anything with. So, that being said, Austria made his was to his piano room, where, of course, his piano was held. Inside the room there was also a couch and a few chairs, so people could sit and listen to him if he was playing. That is where Austria planned to spend his afternoon.

"Ah," Austria sighed, sitting himself down on a chair. "An afternoon alone with my favorite book: Austrian Musicals of the 1940's. No nation here to bother me." He smiled to himself. "How can it get any better than this?"

Suddenly, the door burst open. "Oh, hi Rod!" Prussia then walked into the room, grinning.

"Hi, Prussia…" Austria frowned. "Wait a minute… How'd you get into my house? All my doors are locked!"

"Yeah, but your window's aren't." Prussia said simply.

"How dare you-!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, terrible, terrible me for breaking in," Prussia rolled his eyes. "But back to me and my awesomeness! Hey Rod, you'll never guess what happened to me on subway this morning. This Russian was smiling at me and talking to me…"

"Hm, that's very interesting…" Austria nodded absentmindedly, trying to read his book.

"He was being real friendly," Prussia went on. "And I think he was coming onto me. I think he might've thought that I was gay!"

"Ahem," Austria coughed awkwardly into his hand. "So, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?"

"Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Rod…"

"I'm NOT getting defensive!" Austria paused to calm himself down. "…What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I am trying to read." He motioned to the book he was holding and then tried to rebury his nose into it.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod," Prussia smirked, slinging an arm over the Austrian's shoulder. "I just think it's something we should be able to talk about."

"Well, I do not want to talk about it, Prussia. This conversation is over." Austria said, pushing the Prussian's arm away.

"Yeah, but Rod-!"

"OVER!"

"Well, okay," Prussia said. "But just so you know," He looked at Austria. "_If you were gay, that'd be okay." _Austria gave the Prussian a bewildered look as he started singing. _ "I mean 'cause, hey, I'd like you anyway. Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay." _Prussia leaned a little closer to Austria. _"But I'm not gay." _

"Prussia, please!" Austria nearly groaned. "I am trying to read…." Austria trailed off as he noticed Prussia staring intently at him. "What?"

"_If you were queer-!"_

"Ugh, Prussia…"

"_I'd still be here-!"_

"Prussia, I am trying to read this book." Austria frowned, pointing to his book, trying to make a point.

"_Year after year!"_

"Prussia…"

"_Because you're dear to me!" _

"Ahh!" Austria twitched and dropped his book in horror.

"_And I know that you-!"_

"What?"

"_Would accept me too-!"_

"I would?" Austria looked skeptical as he picked up his book from the ground.

"_If I told you today," _Prussia grinned at the other. _"'Hey guess what? I'm gay!'" _Prussia paused. _"But I'm not gay." _He walked over to the chair Austria was sitting in and promptly sat on the arm of it, crossing his legs. _"I'm happy, just being with you!" _

"High Button Shoes, Pal Joey…"

"_So what should it matter to me," _Grinning, Prussia patted Austria on the shoulder. _"What you do in bed with guys?" _

Austria paled. "Prussia, that is gross!"

"No, it's not!" Prussia countered. _"If you were gay, I'd shout hooray!" _

"I am not listening!"

"_And here I'd stay-!" _Prussia continued anyway.

"La-la-la-la-la!" Austria made a feeble attempt to cover his ears.

"_But I wouldn't get in your way!" _

"Ahhh!" Austria's face turned red, yet he still looked horrified at the same time.

"_You can count on me," _Prussia pointed to himself you emphasis. _"To always be beside you every day," _He put his hand on Austria's shoulder. _"To tell you its okay, you were just born that way, and, as they say, it's in your DNA, you're gay!" _

Austria swiftly pushed Prussia's hand away and then, promptly pushed the rest of him off the chair. "I AM NOT GAY!" He then heard Prussia land on the ground with a grunt.

Seconds later, Prussia sat up from the spot he had fallen on the ground, and he turned to look at Austria with a devious grin. _"If you were gay." _

"Argh!"

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A/N: IT HAD TO BE DONE. I've listened to this song tons of times, but a little while ago, I somehow got the idea of these two singing it.

It was perfect.

Austria and Prussia were made to sing this song. I just wrote it on a whim. 


End file.
